September 22nd
A thousand things are making me so anxious today and have been raising my heart rate for this week.
Seeing him after so many years…
Will I still like him? Will he like me back? Am I pretty enough? Am I ready? Do I want this? What is this? Should I keep going or run away as fast as I can? Will he break my heart like they have done before? Should I keep my guard up or down? Is it worth it?
I don’t know… and I don’t know if I don’t go would be self sabotage or maybe a way to protect myself.
He seems great on paper. But then again am I good enough for someone like that ? Is he like that ? Is my perception of someone all messed up again?
…
Update: November 7th
Not entirely sure it was worth it, not entirely sure he was great, not entirely sure i should have gone…
But if somehow some gives me the chance to do it all over again, I’m not sure I’d say no. Because, for me at least, it was a good thing.
